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My path as an educator begins....
I began my path as an educator when I was 21 years old. I had just finished my BA, and with only a few months off for summer break, I then made the move to Ohio in early August of that year to begin my training course in 'how to teach' at the university level. I had been selected as a Graduate Assistant for the MA program in English at Miami University in Ohio, and at the time it was rated as the top program in the US for its university teacher-training program. A Graduate Assistant program means that you attend the university tuition-free as a graduate student, and the university also employs you with a salary to teach classes while completing your degree. Unlike at many universities, Miami University provided this program so that their Graduate Assistants could teach our own writing courses as the sole instructor, not as an assistant to a professor, but flying solo, choosing our own textbooks, and then being provided with our two departmental mentors, with whom we all met once a week for on-going teaching instruction and support. It was a unique and wonderful experience to set me on my path.
From the time I was a child, I was always certain of two things: I wanted to write, and I wanted to teach, and I knew that my graduate school path was another important step in the fulfillment of those dreams. After completing our summer teaching program successfully, I was ready to begin the new academic year, the youngest student in our MA program, and preparing to teach a class of 18 and 19 year-old students who were essentially my peers. My first day of teaching, it rained, of course, and not having a car at the time, as a poor graduate student, I put my faith in my trusty umbrella and rain coat, and I walked the half-mile from my apartment to my classroom. I arrived slightly soggy, but I was wearing a black suit that wouldn't show the water marks as I presented my syllabus to my class for the first time. I have always been more of an introvert and the type of person who prefers to listen and to learn about others, but I was surprised at my own confidence level and how natural it felt for me to teach. Within days, I was developing a strong rapport with my students, enjoying our 'circle discussions' and sharing insights for writing topics. I was hooked.
In the years that have followed, I have taught thousands of students from all over the world, each unique and special. Many of my students have touched my heart with their life stories, struggles, and triumphs. Many I still consider to be dear friends, and as I have gotten older, some have even become like surrogate children. It is this connection and sense of making a difference in the world that fueled my fire to continue to teach. After completing my MA at Miami of Ohio, I moved back to Illinois, where I am from originally, and began teaching at a small, private college in Chicago. The students were of diverse cultural backgrounds, with many international students, and some of my students were the first in their families to attend college, so they greatly appreciated their education. I taught a variety of English and Communication courses, including a Native American literature and history course that awakened a sense of connection for many of our own first-generation American students and the struggles they had to undergo with being treated as 'other.' My students shared with me many stories of hardship and heartbreak that inspired and moved me each day, as I shared by own stories of life challenges with them. They would often tell me that my stories also helped them because it showed how you can overcome some pretty horrific life experiences and still succeed in life, still find a path to your dreams. Many of the things they told me moved me to tears-- stories of family members abusing them, sexual assault and rape, fighting against the pressure from family and community to try to keep them from attending college, and life-threatening events like escaping as political refugees from war-torn places like Sarajevo. You hold those stories close to your heart and treasure that your students trust you enough to bare their souls, and hope each day that somehow you are making a difference in their lives as a beacon to provide hope.
It may not have been the fanciest or biggest college, but what it gifted me was a sense of giving back to the community after 'making it out' of a family background of poverty and dysfunction myself. After teaching full-time at the college for a few years, the Dean of Students position became available. I didn't attempt to apply for it at first. At 28, I was the youngest full-time faculty member, and I knew that many others had applied for the position. Eventually, after some encouragement, I went to see the president of our college about the position, and what he said to me then became a treasured life moment, "You know, you are the only faculty member at this campus who has not applied for the position. And I have been waiting for you to come see me because you are the only one I want to hire as our dean. You are by far the students' favorite instructor. They love you and trust you, and that's exactly the kind of person we need to be their dean, the one who looks out for them."
I was speechless and incredibly moved. I gladly accepted the position and enjoyed being the students' 'advocate' as the Dean of Students for the college. It gave me an opportunity to be even more deeply involved in helping them attain their goals on a personal level, while enjoying the social and community events we planned together. It was a bittersweet moment when I decided to resign my position to begin my new life in London, England. But I knew it was time to begin another journey and to pursue my dreams for my writing and the research path that I had begun on my travels to the UK and Europe over the years.
A New Journey in London....
Since childhood, I had felt a call to the British and Irish landscape. It was part of my ancestral heritage, my reading interests, visions, and dreams. So moving to England for me was like a dream coming true, all of the literature and history I had studied over the years for my degrees coming to life, a life not just in the pages of books, but in 3-D Technicolor joy. One of the greatest gifts while living in England was being able to fulfill my personal interests and quest for knowledge through my studies, both as an academic and as a priestess....
Throughout my life, I had always excelled on my academic path, having received many scholarships and awards, including being an Eleanor Women's Foundation Scholar, a Newberry Library Scholar, and being inducted into Phi Beta Kappa, the national honor society of colleges in the US. So I was ecstatic when I was accepted into two different universities associated with the University of London to pursue my PhD-- Goldsmith's College and Queen Mary. But I chose Queen Mary because they would be able to provide a supervisor who could support my research interests in Goddess Mythology, and the exploration of this mythology within the context of women's literature became my focus, along with the historical context, discovery of artifacts, related art, and archaeological discoveries during the Victorian period. One of the reasons I focused on literature for my degrees is that it is indeed one of the most cross-curricular fields of study. It requires a depth of historical knowledge within your chosen field, in addition to requiring other areas of expertise for effective research and inquiry, such as psychoanalysis, sociological context, the history and theory of art, socio-political theories, linguistic theories, women and minorities studies, amongst many other important disciplines and areas of research. This multi-focus approach helps to provide a more connected understanding in research than simply having knowledge of one field alone.
This academic training, the joy of being able to spend all day researching primary documents at the British Library, understanding how to weave and to cite sources appropriately, skills that are many times 'missing' in some rogue researchers on the Internet today, also helped to prepare me for my path in writing about esoteric and historical topics. I found that my academic pursuits were a complementary mirror to my spiritual training as a priestess with Kathy Jones in Glastonbury, the other most profound 'learning' experience that I was gifted while living in England.
I first found Kathy via the Internet, while planning my handfasting ceremony. When first meeting Kathy in person, I found out about her Priest/ess of Avalon training, and I knew it was something that I was meant to complete. Through the training, and subsequent courses that I took with Kathy, it changed my life in magical ways. Finally, I had received the appropriate training and support to understand my intuitive abilities, all of the 'right-brained' and creative skills that oftentimes get beaten out of us in our modern society. But what it especially gifted me was a connection to Goddess, to the Divine Feminine energies in the land, in ourselves, and to honor Nature and Creation-- again, connections that have been vilified for centuries out of fear for the power of the Feminine-- a fear which still exists today.
Soon after completing the fourth year of training with Kathy and only a year away from completing my PhD, an unexpected turn of events occurred, so I was forced to return to the US. Financially, I was no longer able to continue living in the UK and to afford my tuition for my graduate degree, which was at the overseas rate. The international academy where I had been teaching as the head of the English Department was forced to close down, the after-effects of 9/11, because our students were predominantly American and were returning home in the wake of political events. In addition, I was going through a difficult divorce from my ex, and with discoveries of his infidelity and the draining of our joint savings account for his personal misadventures, I had no other alternative but to take leave from doing my graduate degree and to return home. I was devastated and heartbroken, after feeling such a sense of empowerment from recreating my life in a foreign country. How many of us have been in this same sort of situation-- where the actions of others creates chaos, destroying our dreams and life plans? But what do you do when faced with adversity? You pick yourself up and recreate your life-- again.
Back to the US....
After returning to the US, I began a new journey, utilizing what I had learned through my priestess training and my PhD research. I created an online priest/ess training course with a primary focus on the Egyptian Goddess Isis and the Egyptian Mysteries, showing connections to British and Celtic Goddesses, as well. Later, I wrote another training course, a full-length book on the Mysteries of the Ancient Celtic Goddesses. One of my greatest joys after returning to the US was sharing in these trainings and retreats with a wonderful group of priestesses, priests, and friends, naming our group The Sacred Sept of the Swan as part of my organization, The Swan Centre, with an ultimate view to creating a healing center or centers in various locations for courses, retreats, and spaces of support for spiritual explorations and dealing with real-life issues. Providing retreats to amazing sacred sites like Serpent Mound in Ohio and the Hill of Tara in Ireland has also been a momentous experience, and I look forward to further group retreats to various destinations. Currently, I am synthesizing my research, priest/ess training books, and articles for my books, 'The Swan Grail' and 'In the Eyes of Eyes: The Grail Mysteries of the Goddess,' so watch this space for updates in the months ahead.
In addition, after moving back to the U.S., my journey as an academic and as a professor also continued to afford me interesting opportunities, ranging from teaching at a prestigious university like University of Richmond, the wonderful diversity of students at community colleges in Virginia and Pennsylvania, and the joy of teaching British Literature at Moravian College, a private liberal arts college that is one of the oldest in the U.S.
One of the things I enjoy about teaching in the U.S. again is being able to share with my students about my travels and research in regard to places and events that they have read about but may not yet have experienced themselves. I teach them that finding their 'voice' and making that heard in the world in their own way is important. For me, my deep connection to the landscape and history of the UK, Ireland, and ancient cultures continued to be a focus, and shortly after returning to the U.S., I began doing activist work with TaraWatch, an organization dedicated to protecting the Hill of Tara complex in Ireland from the threat of a motorway that would encroach upon the site, permanently damaging the archaeology. The Hill of Tara is integral to Irish history as the site where the High Kings of Ireland were crowned and an important space for ceremony and gathering. As a result of my activist work and research, creating events to try to save the Hill of Tara, and traveling back and forth to Ireland, I was asked by the ARE to do an article about Tara and its significance to other ancient mysteries and cultures, a subject that had become very near and dear to my heart. As a descendant of the High Kings of Ireland myself through my mother's line, these experiences were made even more profound in connecting to my personal identity and cultural heritage.
As a result of these experiences-- my travels, research as an academic, and spiritual studies all led to a wonderful sense of unity for my path, erasing that dividing line that so often happens for people between the 'left' and 'right' brain experiences with learning and with life. I was determined in my writing path to follow the model set in the article 'Stabat Mater,' by Julia Kristeva, a favorite French feminist and psychoanalyst whose work I had read intensely while doing my MA and my PhD research. Kristeva emphasized the different 'discourses' we use, and I felt it was important to speak to a wider audience of people using both of these left and right-brained discourses. These two paths needed to be merged, through my writing and my work, to 'teach' others, whether academics, spiritualists, or both. Whatever their path, I felt that honoring the academic and the intuitive to assist others was essential-- to help others find that unity of balance, as well.
Creating a family, the best inspiration of all....
The most joyous part of my journey has been because of the two most significant people in my life: my husband and my son. Fulfilling personal goals would have a hollow emptiness without them, and I treasure our moments together. After a hiatus for the birth of my beautiful son, my writing and research continued from there, and my work gained further attention, with radio interview requests, and with articles published in 'The Heretic Magazine,' side-by-side with big-name authors in the esoteric and alternative history fields of research, as well as co-hosting radio shows to interview other authors in the field. Once my son was ready for preschool, I explored returning to academia. I was initially hired as a professor and Head of the English Department by a university in Egypt, what I had hoped would be a dream job, as it would enable me to do some exciting first-hand research while living there. Unfortunately, because of the political unrest at the time, they were unable to provide me with a visa and to complete the paperwork in time for the new semester. I was disappointed, but knew it was for the best, especially when I was hired a few weeks later by the college where I currently teach as an English professor, a situation that has worked out perfectly....
One thing that has become very clear on life's path is that sometimes when a door closes, it's because we are being protected, and we are being put onto another course to gift us with our greatest happiness. So the expression, 'when one door closes, another opens,' seems quite profound for me. Being grounded in the US gifted me the opportunity to find the best relationship of my life. Soon after returning to the US, I had read 'The Serpent Grail' by author Gary Osborn, who is now my husband. Years after reading his book, I met him in person, and our relationship began, so it was my focus on my own writing and researching and networking with authors of similar interests that led me to him, something that feels like it was destined for us. After a year of dating and going back and forth between the US and the UK, we were married, a personal fairy tale come true, finally finding my soul mate. Sharing our writing and research interests is another magical component of our relationship, something that neither of us had before. When my writing and research blossomed into opportunities to be on TV, my husband Gary was there for each filming, my greatest support and cheerleader.
My writing and research was then brought to the attention of the director and producer of 'Forbidden History' by my friend and Editor of 'The Heretic Magazine,' Andrew Gough, who is also featured on the show. Out of the possible candidates for the show, I was chosen by the Discovery Channel. The show is filmed in London, so I was flown in, a wonderful opportunity, and it was exciting to be back in London, where I had lived for five years and to share the experience with my husband Gary, who had grown up in London. One of the other lovely things was how excited and supportive my students were. They joked that we were going to take a class trip to London so that they could be in the show, too.
My students got a huge kick out of seeing their professor on TV, but it also greatly amused them when, after the show aired and a certain American critic, (who makes his career out of sound-bite generalizations about historical researchers without actually having an academic background himself), wrote a vile blog about the show, getting his facts and his spelling wrong, and then his not-so-bright flunkies tried to stalk me on the Internet, falsely accused me of not being a professor, and made sexist comments about penis size-- oh, what true intellectual argumentation. A few even tried to define what a professor was for me and corrected my comma usage because they weren't bright enough to know about the Oxford comma rule.... This was quite amusing for all of us, and my students laughed at the idiocy of these individuals, joking that they wouldn't have to turn in their research papers then, since the college, our class, and I didn't really exist. There's that Oxford comma again.... Everything can be turned into a positive, and sharing in this new journey with my students afforded them the opportunity to see the positives and negatives of the media, the sexism that exists towards women, and how smart women intimidate certain factions of society, whether you are in the public eye or not. The lesson for us all is that you can't let other uninformed individuals with their own hidden agendas and psychological issues to silence you. Like bullies in the schoolyard, they will always exist, but you don't douse your light to satisfy the insecurities of others-- you shine more brightly to stand in truth and to continue to educate.
After filming 'Forbidden History,' I then went on to do other shows, like 'Inside Secret Societies' and 'What On Earth?' on the Science Channel. Recently, I helped my husband with filming for 'Magical Egypt 2,' the second season of the cult show created by Chance Gardner, which features my husband's research from his books, and I am editing his forthcoming book with Jim Penniston on the Rendlesham Forest Incident and the binary code. Other exciting projects on the horizon include a show produced by Vanese MacNeil, wife and partner of Chance Gardner, and completing the two books that I currently writing.
My goals as an educator are also coming full-circle-- I was recently accepted into a selective university graduate program to pursue my Doctorate in the field of education, one of only twelve doctoral students that they admit each year into this competitive program. So I will begin my Doctorate in Education next year, expanding on my research and personal growth, as I continue to pursue more inclusive ways to teach, to communicate on important topics of literacy and history, and to create transformation in people's lives.
One of the greatest joys about writing and media work is being able to share research and writing interests with a different audience than in the classroom. For me, it is an extension of that experience of 'helping others,' inciting new perspectives and ideas for people to explore for themselves. I appreciate all the wonderful feedback and support from so many in the audience of the various shows, and I hope it fuels interest for people to research topics that intrigue them. As an academic, I can say that all we can do is present 'theories,' and we can't always find definitive answers to all the questions that many of these topics present. Yet, the intellectual inquiry about the history of our world and life's mysteries continues to fuel my passion for sharing this knowledge with others. No one can truly 'teach' you the mysteries about life. But what we can do is to try to facilitate the learning and growth of others, as we each grapple with our individual 'Grail Quest' for the meaning of life, the history of humanity, and where we go from here. May your journeys of self-discovery be equally blessed.